


Forgotten - Oneshot

by MaybeDefinitely404



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Appetite Loss, Crying, First Kiss, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Food, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Overworking, Sympathetic Dark Sides (Sanders Sides), lying, self deprecation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-19
Updated: 2021-01-19
Packaged: 2021-03-17 13:08:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,797
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28849584
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaybeDefinitely404/pseuds/MaybeDefinitely404
Summary: Patton’s birthday is forgotten by the other sides, and it hurts more than he wants to admit.
Relationships: Logic | Logan Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders
Comments: 5
Kudos: 53





	Forgotten - Oneshot

**Author's Note:**

> Word Count: 4.7k

In retrospect, he shouldn’t have expected much. After all, he was _always_ the one to remind everyone of their fellow side’s birthdays. He was the dad, the heart, and he loved the others with everything that he was, so it wasn’t a huge surprise that he was the one to wake up before the sun had even properly risen to set up the whole downstairs. In past years, it had been Logan who had taken charge of Patton’s birthday; it was clear by their traditional birthday banner hung in a perfectly straight line, the streamers exactly one foot apart with no wiggle room, and the balloons all blown up to the exact same size. The cake in the evening was meticulously decorated with some printed picture of the baby animal Patton was obsessed with at the time and light blue frosting flowers on the side, and whatever activity Logan had planned in The Imagination (with Roman’s help, of course) always went off flawlessly. And I mean, what could you expect? Logan always had things planned weeks in advance, the multiple calendars above his bed and desk made sure of it. 

But knowing that Logan was always in charge of Patton’s birthdays and the fact that Thomas had a huge video deadline just around the corner still didn’t properly connect in his mind as he almost sprinted down the stairs, still in his pajamas. He screeched to a halt on the last step, his giddiness fading to sad confusion at the complete lack of… well, anything. Virgil was lounging on the couch, scrolling through his phone, ignoring Roman who was dramatically reenacting his latest adventure. They both turned as he entered, giving a two finger salute and a loud “good morning” respectively. 

“Slept in much, pops? I was worried you weren’t going to make breakfast, and I am _starving_!” 

“You’re always starving, Princey.”

“Well, _duh_ , have you seen the adventures I go on? Wait, were you not even paying attention?!” The two continued to bicker as Patton mutely walked into the kitchen, ignoring the way his heart felt like it had sunk to his stomach. Of course, _of course_ , they wouldn’t have remembered. Virgil with his constant barrage of anxious, worst-case-scenario thoughts and Roman, head filled to overflowing with creative ideas.

Patton threw together some pancakes, almost in shock. The smell must have attracted Janus, because he trotted downstairs, tongue flicking out between his teeth unwillingly. 

“It smells _awful._ Pancakes?” 

“Mmhm,” the hum came out a bit more strangled than he would have liked, but no one seemed to notice, “I made extra. Dig in.”

They did just that, and Patton nibbled at his slowly, watching their faces. Was this just a ploy? Surely, they hadn’t forgotten. Birthdays were always the same tradition every time, maybe they just wanted to switch it up a bit? Lure him into a false sense of sadness, and then when he came back downstairs, the whole party would be set up? That had to be it. Surely. So he should probably leave them to it, right? Didn’t want to make their plan too difficult!

He quickly excused himself to go upstairs, suddenly alive with excitement again. His usually quick routine took him double as long as he kept reminding himself to slow down, give them time to set it up! It wouldn’t be much fun if he walked in half way through. He couldn’t help smiling to himself in his reflection, toothpaste covering his lips. It was gonna be a good day.

But when he came back downstairs, now fully dressed, he was surprised to see the state of the room hadn’t changed. Well, except for the fact that Janus was now standing next to the coffee table, arms crossed over his chest. 

“I think it’s ridiculous that even though poor Thomas got barely four hours of sleep, you’re still pushing him to finish this video today.”

“For the love of- we’ve been _over_ this. He’s already past schedule, and he promised that it would be out this week! Do you want to be the reason that he disappoints over three million people? Do you really, Jan?”

“He will be able to work on it better if he at least takes a nap! The quality of his work is diminishing, and I’m quite sure his fans would rather see an amazing video two days late than whatever he’s making now, on time!”

“We have a schedule! Thomas can take a break when it’s done, and won’t it be more rewarding then?”

“He at least needs a nap!”

The two sides stopped their argument, breathing heavily as Patton took a ginger step down. “So what’s going on, guys?”

“Janus is insisting Thomas completely ignore his posting schedule!”

“Virgil isn’t letting Thomas rest, and god knows he needs it!”

“Okay, you know what?”

“What?!”

“I’m going out there, and I’m convincing Thomas to take a nap!”

“Not without me, you’re not!”

They both sunk out quickly, leaving Roman and Patton standing alone in the living room. Okay, so no surprise party after a let down. But… that’s okay, right? It’s not like he should have expected it. It’s wrong to expect something so big and then be upset when it doesn’t happen. And poor Logan, exhausted, having to keep Thomas going since he refused to rest. How dare Patton put himself first? That was wrong.

Maybe he could still have some quality time with Roman, at least.

“Hey kiddo, do you want to watch a movie with me? Your choice!”

“I would, but… shit, what time is it?” Patton checked his phone, scrunching his eyebrows together.

“Language. And just before eleven, why?”

“I need to go to the Imagination, I’m almost late!”

The moral side couldn’t help the jolt of excitement that flowed through him at the words. “Oh really? Why?” _Maybe they had planned something!_

“Now that Remus and I are… getting along,” he made a disgusted face, “Or trying to, at least, we figured we should try to have an adventure again. Like old times, you know?”

“Yeah…” Patton forced a smile on his face, pushing down the disappointment, “That’s great for you guys! Proud of you, ki-”

“No time, Pat! He’s probably already waiting, and I don’t want to know what he’ll do if I’m late!”

And he sunk out. 

Patton stood in the silence, his breathing seeming almost deafening in the empty room. He let the smile drop from his face but kept the rest of his bad feelings down, reprimanding himself for letting his own desire to be appreciated coming before the other’s happiness. They probably wouldn’t have wanted to be bogged down by some birthday celebrations. Helping Thomas and bonding with your brother were more important, right?

“Right,” he murmured to himself, sitting himself into the corner of the couch. It felt so big, so bare without anyone sitting with him, and he curled his legs into his torso to take up as little space as possible. Pulling the blanket down from over the top and wrapping it tightly around his shoulders, he flipped on the TV and put on the first show that was displayed, not even bothering to read the title. 

If he pulled the blanket around him tightly enough and closed his eyes, he could almost imagine it was someone’s arms. 

————————————–

When Thomas was tired, it reflected on all the sides. And he must have been exhausted, because the next thing Patton knew, he was waking up. The blanket was still wrapped around him and the TV was still playing the same show as before, yet the light had begun to fade outside the window. Had he really just slept through his entire birthday? Not that it mattered anyways, it’s not like anyone had any plans.

 _Stop that._ He reprimanded, slowly standing up and stretching his aching back. _And no more falling asleep on the couch._

He hummed quietly to himself as he got a glass of water, downing the whole thing before refilling it. What was it about naps that always made you so thirsty when you woke up? In response, his stomach growled loudly, making Patton chuckle. Guess I should eat, too.

A look in the fridge revealed no leftovers from the week, and he really wasn’t in the mood to cook right now. His eyes settled on the Crofters jar, front and center on the top shelf, and he took it without thinking twice. His tune took on a more lighthearted melody as he waited for the toaster to pop, fiddling with a butter knife. 

He kept hoping, and hoping, and hoping, that Virgil would pop into the living room with Janus in tow, or the twins would start yelling upstairs to symbolize their return. Just for someone to remember him, to just give him a hug, shoot him a smile that wasn’t in exchange for pancakes. _No,_ he reminded himself. _They’re having a good day. Let them be. You don’t matter._

He sat down at the table with his toast, glancing at the five empty seats around him. Even though he knew they had better things to do, and it was useless to dream, he couldn’t help but imagine all of them gathered together. The twins would fight and Janus would hit his head against the table and Logan would roll his eyes and Virgil would sulk in fake annoyance even while their pinkies were intertwined under the tablecloth. Remus would throw cake at Roman who would probably draw his sword in retaliation, Janus would yell at them to chill out, and Logan would excuse himself. They’d hear him scream in the distance before coming back, unruffled as always, and rejoin them at his usual seat. It would be chaotic and painful and long and exhausting but it would be his _family_. They’d all be together and it… it would be good. For once, they’d all be together.

Not like now, with everyone off doing their own things, and Patton staring numbly at his now cold toast, legs swinging slightly under his chair. With the jam covered knife, he poked the plate, drawing circles and stars around the perimeter. He wasn’t really hungry anymore. 

“Breakfast food for dinner? _And_ stealing my Crofters? This is highly unusual, Patton.” Patton jumped, dropping the knife on the table with a loud clang. Logan continued, unaffected by the noise, “However, I suppose it can be excused today, what with it being your birthday.”

Patton froze, slowly turning to meet Logan’s stoic expression with a look of pure shock. “You… you remembered?”

“Of course. You always remember our birthdays, somehow, even without a calendar or any marker to indicate the day. I am able to leave that to you, and all we have to do is remember yours. It is actually quite a load off of my shoul-” He was cut off by a pair of arms wrapping firmly around his middle as Patton flung himself off the chair. He burrowed his nose into Logan’s shoulder, mumbling a quiet “Thank you” into the material. Hands slowly found their way around his shoulders, settling on the grey cardigan hesitantly. 

“Well,” Logan began, and Patton pulled away from him, a small smile etched into his face, “I apologize for not being available to partake in the festivities I’m sure the others planned. As you know, Thomas needed my assistance in researching and experimenting with a new editing technique. But now that is done with, so I’m free to join you.”

Patton tilted his head. “Join me?”

“Yes, for your oddly timed meal. Unless you don’t want me to, of course! I’d understand if you-” 

“No, Logan,” He said quietly, reaching down to take the other’s hand, “Please. I’d love if you joined me.”

Patton grinned at the way Logan’s cheeks flushed lightly, barely hesitating before replying with a choked out, “Wonderful.” They sat, and Patton gladly gave Logan one of his slices, his appetite hardly returned. 

“So,” Logan said around a mouthful of toast, “How was the party?”

“Oh! Uhm…” Should he tell the truth? Telling Logan that the others hadn’t planned anything, that they hadn’t even remembered… what would that do besides making Logan feel bad for not being there? But lying was… well, he could sort of understand where Janus was coming from now. “It was great!”

“What did you all do?”

“We… uhm… well, they set up the banner and everything, and it was super cool! And, uh, Roman made breakfast, so we ate that, and then… we went into the Imagination?” He hadn’t meant to make it sound like a question. 

“Where is everyone now? I would think now would be the ideal time to eat dinner and cake.”

“They… Virgil and Janus knew they were going to be after Thomas for a while, and Roman and Remus… something went wrong in the Imagination that they had to… had to fix. So we did a birthday lunch instead.” It wasn’t a total lie, right? 

“Something wrong with the imagination? Are they alright?”

“YUP!” Patton yelped all too quickly, “Yup, they’re all good! They just had to… ya know. Ya know how they are!”

“I…” Logan narrowed his eyes a bit, giving Patton a look that told him he wasn’t fooling anyone. Whether Logan understood what his frantic bumbling was trying to cover or not, he didn’t show. “Alright. And did you open presents already? I was hoping to give you mine at the same time.”

Patton couldn’t help the butterflies that exploded in his stomach, almost making him feel sick from pure elation. “You got me a present?”

“Yes, isn’t that customary for one’s birthday?” The slight twinkle in his eye made Patton smile. He fumbled around in his pocket, pulling out a thin box wrapped in blue wrapping paper that just fit in the palm of his hand. “I’m not sure if you’ll like it-”

He cut himself off, letting Patton take the small box in almost a state of wonder. The wrapping paper was quickly thrown to the side and he pulled off the lid, letting out a small gasp involuntarily. Logan explained quickly.

“I saw a similar product online, and I tried to copy it to the best of my ability. Unfortunately my conjuring skills are not as precise as Roman’s, so it is not as detailed as the ones I attempted to imitate. But…” He took Patton’s phone from where it had been sitting on the table and turned on the flashlight, lifting the necklace from the box to shine the light through the transparent center, “I kept trying and trying, until I got this part exactly right, even if the exterior is flawed,” The necklace worked like a projector, and it took Patton a second to realize that the dots now showing on the opposite wall were stars. “It’s as accurate to the night sky as I could make it. And right there,” he gestured vaguely with his chin to a section in the middle, where a clump of stars stood brighter than the rest, “Is the Hercules constellation.”

“Logan… I…” Patton couldn’t help the tears that filled his eyes as he looked between Logan and the stars on the wall. The logical side saw the tears and immediately tensed up, placing the necklace and phone back down.

“I apologize, did I do something wrong? I can-”

“No,” He scrubbed at his eyes with the back of his hands, laughing slightly, “No, it’s amazing. Thank you, Logan. Really.”

Patton picked up the necklace almost reverently. Logan was right, the outside was messy. The circle outline was wonky and crooked, and he couldn’t tell if the little scratches around the rim were intentional (numbers, maybe?) or accidental. But to him, it was perfect. 

“Could you put it on me?” He held it out to the man in front of him, letting the pendant dangle between his fingers. And goodness, seeing Logan give a flustered nod and take the necklace with shaking fingers was an image he never wanted out of his mind. 

Patton turned around in his chair, tilting his head down as Logan stood up behind him. The moment seemed to last forever and ended all too quickly; the ghost of Logan’s fingers against his neck that sent a shiver down his spine, the cool pendant against his collarbone, the way the taller man rested his hand on Patton’s shoulder blade when it was securely fastened. Patton swore to himself never to tell Logan about the hundreds of times he’d put on his own necklaces before. 

He took his phone, the flashlight still on, and shone it through the necklace, admiring the night sky before him.

“What did you say the constellation was, Lo?”

Logan cleared his throat roughly, now standing beside him, the very tips of his ears on fire. “Hercules.”

Patton giggled lightly. “Why that one?” 

For a moment, the other man was completely silent, and Patton feared he’d said something wrong. He looked up at Lo only to find him staring back with intensity that could challenge Remus. The taller man let out a heavy sigh before resting on the back of Patton’s chair, moving his attention to the projection. He could either say something meaningful or make eye contact; both was too much. 

“Patton, I know the way you think about yourself. That you’re not worth caring for, or that everyone around you is more important, and I know you figuratively beat yourself up when you need to put yourself first. And I’m not good with emotions, I’m frankly quite terrible with them, and I am unsure how to comfort you when these thoughts enter your head. I just want you to know that… you’re stronger than you think, Patton. You’re so much more than you give yourself credit for.”

Pat nearly dropped the phone, turning up to face Logan again. And he just couldn’t help but notice how close they were… so close their noses were almost touching, so close he could see every detail in Logan’s eyes, so close that he could feel Logan’s breath on his lips and more suddenly then he could process, he realized he wanted to kiss Logan. He wanted to kiss him so bad.

He didn’t have a second to ponder this new thought before Logan closed the space between them, connecting their lips softly and Patton’s heart exploded. How had he gone this long without realizing he had a crush on the huge space nerd he lived with? Was he that obliviously gay? The necklace slipped from his fingers as he reached up, hands tangling in Logan’s hair as a silent sign that _this is okay oh god it is so much more than okay._

When they finally pulled apart, panting, Patton couldn’t help the tiny laugh that bubbled out of his chest.

“I wasn’t expecting that.”

“My apologies. I should have asked beforehand.”

“No, don’t be! You’re so adorable, Logie.” Patton giggled at the way Logan’s face turned even redder, finally standing up from his chair. “Do you want to watch a movie? If you don’t have to help Thomas, that is.”

That’s the way birthdays usually ended in the mindscape. After tearing through presents and doing a sad excuse for clean up, they’d all watch a movie of the birthday-side’s choice. It usually ended with a few, if not all of them, fast asleep on the couch. If Logan was still awake, he’d usher them all into bed, preaching about proper sleeping habits. If he’d also conked out, however, no one complained to a huge sleepover all over the living room. The cuddles were something Patton looked forward to more than any gift. 

Only now it was just him and Logan, which definitely was not a bad thing, but his little squeak of joy when Logan nodded mutely was not as bright as it usually was. The logic side didn’t seem to notice, or maybe he was just distracted by the way Patton cuddled into his side as soon as the movie started. He couldn’t help the low chuckle that escaped him as the title sequence for _Hercules_ ran across the TV, and Patton almost leapt at the sound, delighted. 

His joy didn’t last, though. Watching the gods argue only reminded him of his own family in a way that made him want to slap himself. Couldn’t he enjoy anything anymore? But goodness, Hades just had Virgil’s essence down to a tee, and Zeus was too similar to Roman to just let it slide… He wondered what they were doing right now. He had to admit, though foolish as it was, that even while he was preparing his make-shift toast dinner and eating with Logan and turning on the movie, that maybe this was all an elaborate ploy. That any second, they’d all rise up with decorations and cake and shout “Happy Birthday!” and that _they hadn’t really forgotten him_.

Maybe that’s why he got so incredibly excited when Janus and Virgil popped in out of nowhere, now much more relaxed then when they’d left earlier. But that stupid stupid hope was vanquished as Virgil collapsed next to him on the couch, letting out a heavy sigh.

“Fine, you were right. Thomas needed the stupid nap. Are you happy?”

“ _Not at all,_ ” Janus smirked, turning to the TV, “What are we watching? Oh, Hercules? I _despise_ this movie.” He dropped onto the floor in a satisfied heap, leaning against Virgil’s legs. Neither of them acknowledged the tiny affectionate gesture, so Patton decided to ignore it too.

_Like they ignored you._

Just as Hercules met Meg for the first time, there was a loud shriek upstairs and loud thumping as a blur of red and white tumbled down the stairs, cursing all the way. 

“You son of a bitch!”

Janus glanced at the lump of prince at the bottom of the stairs, pleased. “Ah, he took my suggestion.” 

Remus followed after him, giggling to himself. He stepped over Roman giddily, making his way over to the group and splaying himself across Janus’ lap. “You proud o’ me, Snakey?”

“ _Never._ ” 

Roman brushed himself off, joining the group with an angry grumble about “wasted bonding time”. And Patton wanted to be happy, he wanted to _so badly_ , because he was finally in a group with his family, and that’s all he wanted, right? Then why did it feel tainted? On a normal night, watching a movie as a group wasn’t unusual, so he could just pretend that it was that. A normal, non-birthday night. That’s all it was. 

Because if it was a birthday night, _he’d_ be in the middle of the weird cuddle pile that Virgil, Janus, and Remus had formed. Roman would be running his fingers through _his_ hair, not Virgil’s, and they would give up their stupid bickering for one evening so they could focus on him, but no, that’s just selfish and he can’t ask for that. He didn’t even notice he was crying until Logan’s arms tightened around him and he looked up, meeting his confused eyes, and giving his head a small shake to show _not now_. And he really didn’t want to be held right now, he realized in shock, and gently untangled himself from Logan’s arms to sit alone, untouched, against the couch that suddenly felt it was filled with rocks instead of fluff. Logan complied with a sigh, turning his attention back to the fight at Olympus. 

Patton had never once in his life been happy that a movie night was over until now. As the credits began to roll, Logan stood stiffly, popping his back. The other sides were in varying states of sleep, exhausted from the day. 

“It’s not healthy for you all to sleep on the floor. At least _try_ to get yourselves to your beds,” Logan bent down and gave Patton a chaste kiss on the head, letting his hand linger on his cheek for a moment. And then he uttered the words Patton hadn’t even realized he was dreading. 

“Happy birthday again, Patton. Goodnight, everyone.”

Never had Patton seen anyone wake up as fast as the other sides did as Logan froze on the steps, not expecting the commotion. Roman was the first to break the silence that followed.

“Is it-”

“Fuck.” Virgil dropped his face into his hands.

“It is. It definitely is.”

“Fuck!”

“Oh god, we’re such idiots.”

“No!” Patton interrupted, quickly putting on the biggest smile he could muster, “It’s okay, you guys! Really!”

Janus stood up slowly, as if scared moving too quickly would spook him, “Patton, why didn’t you tell us?”

“Because…” Whether the sounds that were ripped from his throat were laughs or sobs, or some weird mix in between, he’d never know, “Because you guys had other stuff to worry about! You-” He pointed to Janus and Virgil, “Had to help Thomas, and you-” To the twins, “Had that whole bonding thing planned! I wasn’t about to remind you of something you didn’t even care about in the first place!”

He slapped his hand to his mouth as soon as the words slipped out, the laugh disappearing into a horrified gasp. 

“I’m sorry… I’m so sorry.” It was barely a whisper. Patton didn’t wait to see the looks on the other’s faces. He pushed past Logan and bolted up the stairs, finally letting the tears he’d held at bay the entire day stream down his cheeks. 

Usually, his “no lock on the door” invitation was meant to remind the others that he was always there for them, and they’d never meet a locked door if they needed him. However, now as he curled up facing the wall, crying freely for the first time in who knows how long, he wished there was a lock to stop whoever had just walked into his room. The side was quiet, standing in his doorway, and Patton just wished whoever it was would walk away. He didn’t want to deal with this right now, he didn’t want to look in their guilt filled eyes and listen to them apologize, because how well would that even go? He’d insist it’s okay when on the inside he feels shattered, and he wouldn’t drop it until they agreed with him, and then everyone would feel better except him and maybe a tiny, _tiny_ , part of him was sickeningly pleased that they were upset. That realization made him want to throw up. He let out another unmuffled sob as the nausea churned in his stomach.

Patton felt the bed dip as the person sat just behind him, placing a hand hesitantly on his shoulder.

“I wish you would have told me, Patton.”

_Logan._

“Th-they forgot ab-about me,” he choked out, struggling to no avail to push down the hiccupy sobs. Logan sighed. There was nothing he could say that could make the situation better. The facts were there. The sides had forgotten about Patton’s birthday, a day that Patton cherished greatly. Patton never forgot anyone, and that had not been reciprocated. 

“The whole d-day, I thou-thought that it was just… just a bi-big surprise. Or that they’d rem-remember later. But they _didn’t_.”

Another sigh. “Patton, can you look at me?” 

He rolled over slowly, letting go of the pillow he was curled around. Even in the dim light, Logan could make out the tear tracks curving down his cheeks, the redness of eyes, the look of complete and utter heartbreak. As gently as he could, he pulled on Patton’s hands until he got the message to sit up. 

“I’m sorry. I truly am.” 

Logan wasn’t one for emotions, or feelings, or anything of the sort. It went against all logic, afterall. But he would be lying if he said the way Patton threw himself around him and clung to him like the world was ending didn’t somehow fill in a piece of his heart that he didn’t know was missing. He’d gotten a lot of hugs from the moral side, yet this one was different. It wasn’t brought on by joy or a ‘goodnight’ or a simple need for human contact. This was so much more. It was pain and anger and raw emotion that of course Patton felt, as the heart, but never showed. Whether all of that was aimed at the others or Patton himself would be a conversation for when he wasn’t sobbing brokenly into his shoulder, in the morning when they had to face the reactions of the group. 

For now, they both relished in the feeling of whatever they had, something more than friendship but again, that was a topic for tomorrow. Tonight it was just them, Patton’s twinkling fairy lights, and the star necklace trapped between their beating hearts.

**Author's Note:**

> Say hi to me on Tumblr!


End file.
